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Key verse: Ephesians 4:32 "and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Biblical truth: The simple truth of forgiveness for us is that we should forgive because the Lord commands us to. The basis of His commandment is that we were forgiven by God for Christ's sake.
Forgiveness is a release from debt or obligation. It is the promise to never bring the matter up again or try to collect a payment for some offence that has been committed (or perceived) against you or to hold a grudge against the offender. We offended God with our sin and He would have been justified in not forgiving us. He chose to forgive us, even though we did not deserve forgiveness based on the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. How could we withhold forgiveness from anyone after being forgiven so much? (Matthew 18:21-35)
We learn forgiveness by understanding the pattern that God modeled for us. We were created by Him and in His image to glorify Him. Mankind chose to disobey God and not to glorify Him. We became enemies with our creator (Romans 5:10) and offended Him greatly. He was not obligated to forgive us for He is holy and to remain holy, He must pronounce judgment on sin. He did pronounce that judgment, but sent His Son Jesus to be the object of His judgment for sin so that by faith in Jesus, we can receive the full forgiveness of our offences against God. We received forgiveness for a debt we could never pay, and so we are called to forgive others for all their lesser debts and offences incurred against us.
We forgive because we have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32)
a. Mankind was the original offender against God (Romans 4:25, 5:12)
b. God was justified in not forgiving us (Isaiah 59:2)
c. He chose instead to send Jesus as the object of His wrath toward our sin (Romans 3:25, I John 2:2, 4:10)
d. Only Jesus could pay that debt.
e. Jesus, of course, is God therefore God paid our debt off Himself (Hebrews 9:14)
f. He is our model of forgiveness (Colossians 3:13)
Forgiveness must begin with accepting God's forgiveness of our sin and not living under fear of judgment any longer.
a. It is difficult to forgive without understanding God's forgiveness of our sins.
b. Continuing to carry the burden of debt in our minds is the same as unforgiveness of ourselves.
c. It is critical that we understand and accept the fact and the reason behind our forgiveness.
i. We are forgiven in Christ (Colossians 3:13)
ii. We are forgiven because of Christ (Ephesians 4:32)
iii. We forgive others because God, for Christ's sake, forgave us. (I John 2:12)
iv. We did not deserve the forgiveness we received, and those we forgive will not always deserve it. (Isaiah 43:25)
God made the first move toward forgiveness (Romans 5:6-8)
a. We are not told to wait for apologies or for the other person to make a move. If they have offended us we are to go to them (Mark 11:25)
b. If we have offended them we are to go to them (Matthew 5:23-24)
c. We are to allow ourselves to suffer hurt or financial loss in order to forgive if necessary (I Corinthians 6:7)
d. God did not qualify His forgiveness of us by the number of times we sinned, and has forgiven us in full for all of our sin. We are not to count the number of times we forgive others (Matthew 18:21-22,
Make a list of all the things for which you have received forgiveness from God. (Of course there is no way to make that list, so summarize how much forgiveness you have to give to others based on how much you have received from God.)
Forgiveness is not easy. It can be very painful at times because it involves us giving up our right to some pay back for the offense that was inflicted upon us. It starts with a brokenness that is a pride smashing experience that is not enjoyable at all. It yields a peaceable fruit and relief that you no longer have to carry the load of unforgiveness. Holding on to unforgiveness is like carrying a large rock around. As long as you determine in your heart to keep the debt alive, waiting on some payment, you must carry the rock. It gets heavier and harder to carry all the time and it torments you inside. Each time you see the person, the rock gets heavier until it becomes unbearable. People will leave church, jobs, separate from family and withdraw from friends in order to continue carrying the rock. It is a prison of torments, and often the offender doesn't even know it happened. Forgiveness is the only relief, but it's not easy.
Jesus taught us that offences would come, but that they should not come from us. (Luke 17:1)
a. Jesus expected that Christians would be ready and quick to forgive. We, after all, understand the grace and forgiveness of God and should readily acknowledge our offence against another and ask their forgiveness (Luke 17:2-4, I Corinthians 6:6-8) After hearing this lesson, the apostles asked the Lord to increase their faith. (Luke 17:5)
b. We should expect to be offended and to forgive for it. We should also understand that godly living is not protection against offences (Titus 3:10-14)
c. The blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin (I John 1:9) therefore we are to forgive all men their trespasses against us after the pattern of Jesus (Luke 23:34, Acts 7:60)
Jesus taught that unforgiveness puts a man in prison and turns him over to torments (Matthew 18:23-35)
a. The king forgave the servant who owed the larger debt (Christ forgiving us) but the servant then would not forgive his fellow servant that owed him a much smaller debt (Matthew 18:28-30)
b. The wicked servant held his fellow servant responsible for payment after the king had just forgiven him (Matthew 18:28)
c. Our friends and co-workers can see the effects of unforgiveness on us (Matthew 18:31) He lived in torments and took his old debt back on (Matthew 18:32-35)
Instructions on forgiveness
a. The model prayer tells us to model forgiveness and to ask for forgiveness according to how we forgive (Matthew 6:12) It also tells us to expect to carry the weight of unforgiveness if we do not forgive others (Matthew 6:13-15)
b. Forgiving others should be part of our prayers (Mark 11:25)
c. We forgive those that we love, so practicing love for others will make forgiveness much easier (I Corinthians 13:4-7)
d. Forgiveness requires humbling ourselves and esteeming others better and worthy of forgiveness for Christ's sake. (Romans 12:3, Philippians 2:3)
e. Forgiving involves the promise to never bring the matter up again. The debt is fully forgiven. (Psalm 103:12, Hebrews 10:17)
f. Forgiveness requires brokenness and the realization that we gave up all our rights to collect on the debts owed us for offences by others when we accepted the grace of God as the payment for all of our debts. We are obligated to forgive.
Reading: Forgiveness is a painful thing. The humility and brokenness can cause tremendous hurt and even agony. This feeling is there to help us understand a little of what our Lord endured to be humiliated and hung on a cross even though He was totally innocent. Forgiveness not only models Christ and gives us the chance to win others to Him with our testimony of mercy and grace, but it also lets us fellowship with His sufferings as we experience the pain and hurt of forgiveness. The peace that comes afterwards will remove all memory of the pain. (Genesis 41:51)
Read and meditate on these passages dealing with brokenness.
Luke 22:42
John 12:23-25
Mark 8:34-36
I Corinthians 6:7
I Peter 4:8
It is easy to lose sight of the fact that we are to be servants to others and not to be served. Servants have no rights and deserve nothing. This is the attitude that Jesus modeled for us and that we are to follow. Forgiveness is easier when our hearts are filled with love for others (which covers a multitude of sins I Peter 4:8)
Reasons for which all those that have offended me should be forgiven.